April 2013
1 post
2 tags
“like Coach Mark said this morning “on the elbows high and outside think...”
– Coach Rennie walking thro ugh the burgener warm up
March 2013
1 post
February 2013
2 posts
No one is safe
Ry: you farted on my baby!
Coach: I was trying to fart on you. The baby is collateral damage
“I don’t understand why everyone is so nervous.”
– Sue during warm up before Fran
September 2012
2 posts
4 tags
“the most important thing to remember is, ‘do not cook the baby’. if...”
– Coach coaching coach-in-training about coaching pregnant ladies
5 tags
“Coach: *w/ a super serious face* is that helping you with your lifting?
Ry:...”
– warning: do not color coordinate your purple inov-8s around coach
August 2012
1 post
4 tags
“Mrs coach hugs: omg are you okay? Don’t ever do that again. You scared me!...”
– Mr and mrs coach hugs rushing to me after falling back and dropping the barbell on top of me.
“Just lift it, pu$$y.”
– No coaches at open gym. Just lifting bros.
July 2012
7 posts
4 tags
“I know i look scary and like i’m going to beat you up, but i’m...”
– Coach Hugs makes a guest coaching appearance and introduces himself to the newbs
5 tags
“I’m sorry I hit you with my truck. Next time, don’t stand in the way...”
– Coach Unhuggable on parking
4 tags
PROJECT AGERBOMB →
I plan on dropping in when she opens her new gym. She must have some SMCFCS worthy quotes.
4 tags
“We’re like a biker gang”
– Coach commenting on all the 858 hoodies at a non crossfit event (okay we were watching legally blonde)
6 tags
4 tags
June 2012
19 posts
“Make sure your ego does not write a check your body cannot cash.”
– Coach Voldemort on scaling
4 tags
Coach during establishing a 1 RM split jerk
Okay guys, you got about three minutes left. You should be getting really heavy now. Watch your form. It’s going to be a mental game to get that weight up. You can and you will get that weight up. It’s called a FUCK IT pill. Take one and get that rep!
6 tags
“I have the urge to throw my head back and howl at the moon. Is this normal?”
– Coach after watching a christmas abbott video
6 tags
5 tags
Kettlebell Swinging Explained
“Essentially, you want to thrust your hips as hard as you can. Just imagine you’re humping the air. Humping the air as hard as you can.”
- Coach Pterodactyl
3 tags
“Male athlete: I can’t believe you beat me
Female athlete: deal with it,...”
– Kelli rx’ing her first muscle up wod
5 tags
4 tags
“You taught him to muscle up?! Good job! It’d be easier to teach monkeys to...”
– Coach Unhuggable to Coach Mike after Coach Mike taught a member to muscle up
5 tags
“You want me to tape your hand? I’ll cut your pinkies off is what...”
– Coach Hugs to new member asking for help to tape hands
During mobility, holding squats
Coach F: So, it’s St. Patty’s Day weekend… and being that it’s Friday night, you all have seen folks getting their asses in gear, hitting the bars early, if not bombed out of their fucking minds already. But when your buddies ask, “Hey, how’d you kick of your Friday night?” whaddaya gonna say? “Oh, y’know… went to the box, sat in a deep...
“I’m gonna burn 24 Hour to the ground!…uh I mean you can’t...”
– Coach Unhuggable to new member who also happens to be a Police Officer
6 tags
“When you fart does money come out?”
– Coach to Athlete and his purchase of reebok’s nano 2.0
5 tags
“Scale and you’re fired.”
– Coach to Coach Mike motivation.
4 tags
Inappropriate convo w coach
New Coach Vin Diesel: what's the number for HR here?
Coach: I'm HR
“Stop doing the over shoulder look at me. I’m picturing you doing that with...”
– Coach Unhuggable to Roger while Roger was doing the Cobra stretch.
3 tags
“Coach: Fuck you
Matt: Morning”
– How coach welcomes 6am regulars.
“Hey! No humping in here!
*pause*
wait. maybe that’s a sign of good luck?”
– Coach yelling at two humming birds getting busy in the box.
“Okay, one pass down here doing butt kicks and when you get to the column, high knees. If you get confused, follow what the person in front of you is doing… BLAH BLAH BLAH… because if that person fucks up, you all follow ANYWAY. Like some goddamn lemmings! Fuck it. You guys know what to do, right?! NOW MOOOOVVVE!”
- Coach F. during pre-WOD mobility
“If you can’t do l-pull ups, do knee raised pull ups. If you can’t do...”
– Scaling.
3 tags
May 2012
14 posts
Between Athletes
(Sorry, RyRy, this one comes from CF LV)
“I mean, if I’m going to come, and pay for it, I better fucking feel it!”
4 tags
4 tags
“Coach and Emo Joe’s nuts are not longer on speaking terms.”
– Athlete summing up the incident that included air squats, a road cone and a bored Coach.
3 tags
8 tags
858 dopplegangers
Coach to class: who does he remind you of (class looks over to new member)?
No nickname Phil: Obama?
Coach: No that's racists. He looks like Nick Cannon
5 tags
When my friends saw that the Crossfit Games...
2 tags
“Who’s gonna do it against the wall? …(pause)…who’s going...”
– Coach finding his filter.
I thought the nightmares thing was a joke....
3 tags
“Athlete #1 (performing OHS at her bday): i can go back to 858. i’m not in...”
– injured 858 members’ road to recovery.
When people are not paying attention during warm...
3 tags
“Coach Mike: there is a 30 minute time cap…but luckily you’re the...”
– Coach Mike addressing the class before a brutal partner wod
April 2012
14 posts
6 tags
3 tags
“Those are border line offense…(ry gets to the bottom of his squat)…I...”
– the difference between running shorts and crossfit shorts
4 tags
“Hey come here. Got somethin’ wanted to tell you…closer. Ummm,...”
– Coach’s love 